Allie’s Rules for High School

photoA few nights ago I had an encounter with my 18-year-old daughter that will be imprinted on my heart forever. I walked into her room; she was sitting on the floor with her laptop. Immediately obvious was her determined focus on something she was typing. While I made a mental note of the messy room and intended to revisit it momentarily, I asked what she was working on so seriously. She looked up and said, “Mom, tell me what you think of this. These are Allie’s High School Rules. I’m giving them to my ninth graders.”

To give you a little context, Allie served as a small group leader to middle school girls on Sunday mornings at our church. That group is entering Milton High School as freshmen in a couple weeks. Allie has poured lots of time and energy into these girls over the past few years, and loves them so much. Having just graduated from Milton herself, she has a fresh perspective on exactly what they’ll be encountering over the next four years. She decided to put together a list of “guidelines” that she’s hoping will help them navigate the sometimes treacherous waters of high school.

As Allie began reading her list to me, I found myself crumbling (in a good way) on the inside. By the time she reached the end of her list, I was sitting on the floor with eyes flooded. I was overwhelmed and amazed at her maturity and strength. I knew she had made good choices throughout high school, and had traversed some hard things in ways that demonstrated her love for Christ and desire to obey Him. But to hear the “rubber meets the road” advice she put on paper was incredible. In that moment, I LOVED her messy room too!

So, I’m going to share 20 of “Allie’s Rules for High School” with you! Some of them are inside jokes she has with her girls, but you’ll get them anyway. Pass on to any rising high schoolers you might know!

  1. Surround yourself with people who build you up, not people who tear you down.
  2. Treat your kisses like you have a limited supply.
  3. Guard your heart. Seriously… your heart is precious.
  4. Stay vertical/no buttons and zippers (or Velcro). In other words, set your boundaries and stick to them.
  5. Have an accountability partner and be willing to tell HER everything.
  6. Be so so so so so so so SO SO SO SO careful who you date.
  7. If you’re wondering if you should break up with him, break up with him.
  8. If your girl gets broken up with, go buy her a stuffed animal, a blanket, candy, and lots and lots of ice cream. (Other gifts are acceptable.)
  9. Pray, PRAY, PRAY! Don’t ever forget how much you need God.
  10. Have a quiet time. It may seem like a hassle, but it will help you stay close to God.
  11. Be nice to your parents. They love you and want the best for you, so if you disagree with them, just realize that they are a lot smarter than you…sorry about it.
  12. If you find yourself lying to your parents/other adults in your life, backtrack and get out of that situation IMMEDIATELY. You are somewhere you do not want to be.
  13. Never be afraid to say no. It’s better to be a wimp than dead.
  14. When you fall on your face, get back up and keep moving (literally and figuratively).
  15. Journal so you can look back and see what God has done in your life.
  16. Even when you don’t want to, GO TO CHURCH!
  17. If it’s not classy, don’t do it.
  18. Don’t judge. Even when people are doing things you don’t agree with, show them love.
  19. Pause before you speak… this will prevent a lot of problems.
  20. Selfies are for faces.

If you have a teenage girl in your life, and she has a good high school rule to add, let us hear from you/her!

Comments

    • Elizabeth Stinson says

      My daughter is entering 9th grade. She is a sweet, wonderful, faithful person. I’ve always said, that (thus far) she has never had any “drama” in her life because she “flies under the radar” – everyone likes her; there is nothing not to like. She is quiet. She simply doesn’t look for “trouble” OR put herself out there like many do today (with social media, etc.) to be majorly critiqued. It is her sweet, gentle nature. She never criticizes anyone/anything. It is simply how God made her AND I thank Him! She is blessed and is certainly a blessing to me. She has not even come close to being one of these “teenagers” that I hear about. I hope this doesn’t sound boastful. My life is not perfect. But I am humble and grateful for her. She is a light in my life. I will share this list with her too – thank you!

      • Suzanne says

        You are very humble! You say God made her like that but I truly believe your parenting skills have contributed to the wonderful young woman she has become as well. Great job on your part too Elizabeth!

        • RIe says

          I agree with Suzanne. Parenting well is a slow and careful process of love and attention mixed with the right amount of trusting them to take the wheel and trusting Spirit to guide you both! I just want to say thank you. My Junior (son) would love to meet a young woman who would honor herself this way, Kudos to yours!

      • Understanding grandmommy says

        Be careful with that complaint child!! I had one of those now she is a mother and having great difficulties because life was too easy for her growing up. They need to develope the coping skills that some turmoil brings. Set some boundaries for her just so she will not float along. It is so important that they learn how to handle conflict. I thought it would just come naturally, it doesn’t. Sometimes what comes out is major depression in adult hood.

        • Kim says

          I’m not sure why you call her compliant. Just because she knows these things and lives them, doesn’t mean she hasn’t been through some rough waters. She reminds me of my daughter who is making it through college sticking to her convictions. My girl has been put through the ringer in high school and college at times for living what she believes. It has only made her hold her faith and beliefs stronger because she had to stand on and defend what she believes. My girl has always been strong willed as well, not what I’d call compliant. I am very proud of this young lady who at only 18 years old already demonstrates a Titus women. You keep being a mentor and example for those younger than yourself.

          • smonae says

            Heyheyhey, while Understanding Grandmommy DID say “complaint,” as you pointed out… if you read her statement it is obvious she MEANT compliant. The gist of her words are that her daughter was a compliant sort, and “floated” through her high school years without conflict, or if there was conflict she just went with the flow (I’m speculating here…) The point Grandmommy was trying to make was that as a result of that “go with the flow” personality she did not develop the coping skills that we often learn through conflict and turmoil. Also… if you thought about it for juuuuust a moment, you’d probably (well hopefully, anyways) come to the realization the “complaint child” comment doesn’t make any kind of sense whatsoever.

          • Lloyd says

            I would only expound on #12.

            If you are hiding your friends and maybe boy friend

            from your parents that is deception.

            Deception = lying, in this case to possibly the only

            folks who you can count on to help pick up the pieces later.

            My heart ached the day a teen told me I was right about that advice just two years earlier.
            She was staring into the consequences as a future single mom. Rules stink, but they are
            usually made by the people who love you the most.

      • Clent says

        I have a 9th grade daughter that sounds a lot like your daughter. We can count ourselves lucky and blessed.

      • Melissa says

        My youngest daughter has that same gentle nature. To be honest that scares me to death knowing she is going to high school in a month. Girls can be SO MEAN! I like many of you have attempted to teach my children that there is never a reason to be mean and hateful. We flak about some of the kids she goes to school with and wether or not she disagrees with the way they conduct themselves. I explain you don’t have to be friends with these people but under no uncertain terms are you allowed to be mean to them.

      • Colleen Zeman says

        I don’t mean to burst your bubble but your daughter is a young teenager. She may change as she gets older. Just keep praying for her and applauding the good she does but don’t think you’re immune from trouble with her. IF heartache comes your way don’t blame yourself or God. We live in an evil sinful world that influences or teens more than we think it will.

      • Paul Crews says

        You are 100% right! Boys, young men and even old guys like me should always follow these rules as well. For the exception of one rule. The yeast bear gift thing. Most guys won’t “Dig” that. Depending on the age of course. For me, time over breakfast..go fishing. ..go the the batting cages… just hang out and sometimes just don’t say much and just be….

        My 13 year-old son hits the High School Halls this fall. I am going to re-write this and place young man to where he wrote girls.

        Reading this is great. It restores my faith in our youth and lets me understand that when a parent asks “What are you doing ?” It’s met with, “Mom, what do you think ?”

        Awesome and Good Job Mom.

        • Phill Miner says

          I’d like to read your version for boys as my 15 year old enters HS this year & I agree that the basic premise of these rules could also be for boys that love God and are entering High school.

    • Cindy says

      Best thing ever for young adults !! I want Allie to talk to my kids!! All of the twenty are great … Can relate to the ones about listening to your parents … Admire Allie that figured that out at an early age … Most people don’t get that till they are in their middle to late twenties !! Love the one about if you think you should break up with your boyfriend , do … Always go with your gut feeling ! Pause before you speak .. So true ! All of the ones with God… Best advise !! Allie , you are a very smart young lady … Keep up the good work !

    • Tina says

      I like this and I think it can be applied to boys, as well. (with a few adjustments) You must be so proud of your daughter. Thank you for sharing! Blessings.

    • Kim says

      I have a daughter going to college and many of these rules still apply! Though she is outspoken and outgoing, causing some drama because of sticking up for people and issues and knowing when to do the right thing. She is not perfect, but many of these still hold true for an 18 year old!

    • Rebekah says

      Young folks asked me . .”How far is too far, regarding intimacy between a young girl & boy?” PAPA GOD states if we cause someone else to have lustful thoughts we have crossed the line & gone too far.
      I told this to both our Daughter & Son & to keep all zippers zipped, all buttons buttoned, all clothes on.

      • Janet Owens says

        Thank u for saying that. My 17 tr old grandson is autistic. He is high functioning but has no social skills. Other kids don’t know how to talk to him. I have to admit he can be odd when trying to impress someone. Then he goes into his imaginary world where he is a super hero from another planet. It turns ppl off. It saddens me that he has no friends. He doesn’t want to learn how to drive. I worry about what kind of future he will have because no one will talk to him.

    • Tina says

      My daughter is only entering 8th grade but I feel that all these rules these days apply. Thank you for sharing, my daughter reminds me of yours! She was told by a friend that I care to much, I told my daughter I was sorry that I cared to much. My daughters response to me was I would rather you care to much than not at all and then have a daughter that comes home pregnant, at 13 a very mature young lady rooted in the lord. Thank you again!

    • Ina says

      My granddaughter sent this to me and it brings tears to my eyes. She is a special and smart young lady which we all love. It makes me so happy to see where her thoughts are and I pray everyday she uses her strong will and knowledge to guide her through these next four years. It can be the best of your life or it can end in heart break and sadness. But I trust her to know and do the right things and to help her friends stay on the same good path.
      Reghan always know your grandpa and grandma love you and will do anything to help you. Always call us if you need too. Thanks for sending this.

    • Michele Sannie says

      I don’t even have children and I’ve printed this. Adults can learn from children too! You must be commended on being a wonderful parent! You have raised a very wise, kind, and beautiful soul!

    • says

      That might have been my personal biggest takeaway from this! I was always assured that a messy room actually confirmed wisdom. 🙂

      Why have I been trying to get to desktop and inbox zero for so long?

      • says

        I think this should be given to all incoming middle school and highschool students. all three of my grandchildren changed schools the same year. They didn’t know one student, so thye ahd no one to eat lunch with. They came home in tears, so I would like to schools to setup a welcomieng committee for new students.

  1. Lori says

    Even though my daughter is only 10, I’ve printed this out to save for her. Might tweak it a bit to share with my son. Love Allie!

    • Nikki says

      I also have a 10 year old and I did the same thing! I think this conversation may come sooner than we want. They grow up way too fast.

      • Susie Yarbrough says

        Yes, you have to start taking baby steps into these conversations way earlier than you’d hoped. I’ve been of the mindset that I want my daughter to learn all this stuff from me first before she hears it from friends, social media or tv. So although this is written for high schoolers and my little girl is about to enter 8th grade, it’s good for her to begin preparing her “armor!”

        • Amanda says

          Parents prepare yourself. 6 th grade may be to late to start. Middle school is harsh. If your child makes it through pure at heart without these lesson early then Wow good parenting and wise children. Start sooner than you think.

    • Beverly says

      My daughter is 11 and a rising 6th grader, going to share this with her too! Good early planning and seed planting for middle school and the dating years to come. Love Love Love this!

      • Jamie says

        Me, too!
        And I totally agree, we need to be having these kinds of discussions before high school. I may tweak it just a bit but I will be sharing it with her before school starts. <3

        • Nancy says

          What a blessing!!! Our 14 year old starts high school in five days. I printed this for her. Thank you very much!

          • Joyce says

            One word of advice is that “like attracts like”. If you want to be respected, be respectable. When it comes to dating or friendships, BE the kind of person you would like to have for a friend! This is true for boys or girls!

        • Cindy Barber says

          I too have a stepdaughter who will be turning 12 on December 1st and has just started Middle School (6th Grade)
          We’ve already had the “Big Talk” well I have, (Dad wouldn’t have faired so well in that conversation). Everyone correct, they are growing up way faster than my Generation and I’m 48…
          We had to start buying her training bra’s at 9 yrs old,
          Then with in less than 1 yr we had to switch to “padded” training bra’s, then within I’d say 4-6 months she graduated to the real thing and dang near my size, she’s a 34A and I’m just a 36C. So with faster development in other areas, we were FORCED by Mother Nature to have to have that Conversation EARLY!!!
          I think we would be doing a GREAT BIG.DISSERVICE not only to our children, to us as Parents and EVERYONE else that they come into contact with if we didn’t start these discussions with our children sooner rather than later.
          Those 20 Rules should be reinforced over and over from the time of kids hit Middle School all the way through College!!!!!
          I am a RN and have worked in Obstetrics/Gynecology my entire career. Mostly in the office setting but also worked 10 yrs as a Labor & Delivery RN. Trust me when I say that I’ve taken care of more than my share of 12 y.o and up of “kids having kids”
          So, in mwy both personal & professional opinion the more exposure our girls have of the “20 Rules”, hopefully the more successful our girls will be in following them

          • Amy says

            Not to mention, if you start the talk, just the basics, @ age 8 or 9, the kids are more willing to listen and aren’t embarrassed at all. It doesn’t make them “curious” as some say, but they are rather “grossed out” by the thought of sex. If you wait too long, past 4th grade, they are embarrassed to talk or listen to you, and will likely hear it from friends and could be wrong information.

  2. says

    Saving this for my 2 girls… Check that… 3 girls (due any day now)
    Not sure if “selfies” will be around in the next 10 yrs but seeing how it all stems from the same insecure place, every bit of this will be applicable always.
    Well done & thanks to both of you for the hope this gives me for mine!

  3. Anna says

    VERY WISE words! A much needed post! My daughter is entering into High School next week! Not sure I am ready for this. My daughter read this before me and was telling my about the rules. I am printing this to post in her room so she can read every morning. thanks!

    • Ann says

      Even though my 9th grader is homeschooled, she has lots of interaction with kids who go to public and private school. One thing I tell her is, “Top of the world at 17, at the bottom of the heap by 25” when she talks about the popular (usually mean) girls who seem to have the world on a string. Also, no matter what (if any) sport your high school kid participates in, playing hard to get is always better than playing the field!

  4. Beth says

    Beautiful! Giving it to my 8th grader. Just curious how Allie would address the flippant use of language these days by girls and guys alike who profess to follow Him – those words that used to be taboo, but are now part of everyday, “accepted” language…

          • Kelly says

            I agree with all Allie’s rules but a little hesitant of #17….Of course I don’t want my child using bad language, dressing inappropriately etc…but sometimes it’s ok to get a little dirty or not be so perfect. Have fun!! Of course everyone’s definition of classy is different. You’re very mature Allie…thanks for the list!

      • says

        Hi, Sandra, wow, where was that list when i needed it when i was starting high school? My mom didn’t have ‘the talk’ with me, so i was at a slight disadvantage-i turned out alright, made a ton of friends, the other thing is i’m handicapped-this list is awesome, i’m going to have to share it with my youth group-all parents need a list like this, esp those with handicapped kids-thanks again

  5. Masi says

    Choose the right and best friends because ultimately they make your choices for you! You WILL choose friends….you will most likely stay alone so choose the best, aligned with your values, and your choices will be best!!

    PROM is not worth losing friends over and thinking it is the most important event of your life! Wear converse & a dress and have fun. Don’t make it a romantic comedy movie!!!

    Allow your friends to check your texts at any given time! Small group rule – your friends have the right to check and read – always!!!

    Allie – you’re amazing and love you girlie!!!

  6. says

    Precious Allie, you are wise beyond your years. Those girls will be forever grateful for your time and investment. You may never see your words come to fruition, but rest assured that their lives will never be the same. Thank you for sharing, Sandra!

  7. Karen Bitzer says

    Thank you for sharing Sandra – I could say so much but will keep it short and sweet. Allie did a wonderful job of reminding these rising ninth graders of some of the challenges they will face in high school. And they WILL face them – at least of some of them. I too will print this off as a reminder to my “almost” senior. ( Junior year was a tough one for us. Thank goodness for a fresh start 🙂 ) It’s easy to forget many of these things with so much pressure with academics and athletics to stay “on top” – Boyfriends and tension with friends sometimes take our focus off the “ONE” relationship that really matters. And so thank you Allie for wise counsel. What a blessing it will be for many as it will, I’m sure be shared and shared and shared….

  8. Amy Todd says

    My 14 year old daughter came home from InsideOut with Allie’s rules tonight! Loved them! It means so much more coming from a graduating high schooler than coming from Mom 🙂 Please thank Allie for taking the time to put it all down on paper to leave for the girls and investing in them all throughout middle school.

  9. Tammy says

    Most of this rules can apply to
    boys as well I have 2 boys and I’m finding that a lot of girls are very fast these days more so then when I was in h.s.

  10. Kimberly Benton says

    What an incredible young lady! The rules are great and I wish this could be shared with all incoming high school girls (even some middle school girls!), but the greater blessing is that your high school senior invested her time and love into a group of middle school girls. It is hard enough to keep our increasingly independent, nearly grown children in church, but for them to be committed to serving – wow!

  11. Toni says

    As far as language, my kids and I have a very important rule about language: There are so many beautiful and uplifting words in our English language. Don’t waste your breath on vulgar and obscene language. It doesn’t reflect Christ in your life and it makes you look ignorant if those are the only words you choose to use.

    Thanks for this article. My two teenage girls will benefit greatly from your daughter’s list.

  12. Ken Kurtz says

    Your “flooded eyes” are understandable. Tears of joy!

    You know, it was some years ago, I had some car problems, and rented a car from Enterprise (you know, the ones that “come and pick you up”). I’d been intrigued by that company because they seemed to attract so many “well scrubbed” young people into their ranks. On this particular day, a tall, very handsome young man in a suit picked me up, and he seemed to epitomize everything that had previously intrigued me about Enterprise.

    I chatted with this young man, and asked him questions, and was able to determine that he’d just graduated from UGA, and was getting married in a few weeks. Really curious now, I dug in, and my “driver” shared that he’d met his fiance freshman year at UGA, and that they’d dated ever since, and they were currently in pre-marital Christian counseling, and they were both virgins, saving themselves for each other.

    This 6’2″ “dude” could have been a Hollywood actor, or a fashion model… and we all know what this can mean from a “worldly” point of view (a shield perhaps, to keep the woman throwing themselves at him from causing injury?). Really impressed now, I started digging in on his upbringing, and his mom and dad, etc. Sadly, we’d already arrived at my rental, and he was circling it to make note of dings and scratches.

    As I left Enterprise that day, I thought about what it takes to raise a young man like that, or a young woman like his fiance. I thought about Tim Tebow, and what his parents must have poured out to raise such a fine young man. And then I thought… THERE’S GOT TO BE A BOOK HERE. An instructional book, that fearful parents might like to read, that chronicles what takes place in the homes of origin of fine, upstanding people like my Enterprise driver, and Tim Tebow, and Allie Stanley.

    And then I had a terrible thought… with church attendance in this country on such a downward spiral, and “the ways of the world” elbowing in for center stage among SO MANY, would there be enough of an audience for such a book to assure commercial viability? Are there enough parents in existence anymore that would be willing to do the work that produces such upstanding young adults from the sponges that are our children?

    Bravo to the Stanley family!

      • Lori says

        I was thinking the same thing CW! The Bible has been my best resource for sure. We as parents need to be careful not to try and take credit for our kids that turn out well. Parenting can become an idol if we strive to be the “perfect” parents. I have 3 children, 19 (boy), 16 (girl), 14 (girl) and although they are far from perfect, they all seek The Lord (not always with their whole hearts) and are leaders among their peers. Their success and their relationships with The Lord, I believe, are a result of my surrender of them to The Lord, not of any punishment I’ve enforced or encouragement I’ve given. I have always clung to proverbs 22:6 “train a child up in the way he should go…” And have trusted The Lord to tell me when I need to push in and teach (or preach as my kids would say) and when I need to pull way and let them try to fly. The Lord is faithful….sometimes using other parents, teachers, coaches and even peers to reach them. I am truly humbled by parenting, there is nothing harder in this life. My children all belong to God, not me; therefore I need to trust in The Lord’s provision, protection and ultimately His sovereignty. Some amazing and God fearing children come from the most broken of homes and some very troubled and lost children come from the most stable and Christian homes. Our children’s lives are not a reflection of who we are as parents. As a mother, I strive to please God with my parenting choices, not my neighbors or even my church family for that matter. Cling to scripture and allow the self help books and blogs like this guide you to the scripture you need, do not let them replace it. The Truth will always be the same and always has been, thank you Lord for your faithfulness!

        • Michelle says

          Beautiful…Thank you Lori, I needed these words….God will send the right person at the right time…Today you were my guardian angel…I read every single word and will carry them with me the next time I feel I am not doing a good job…God always sends someone to remind me it’s not about me, it’s about him….

        • Tammy says

          Lori, There is no doubt in my mind that your words were prompted directly from the Spirit of God. Praise Him! Thank you for that post – I have often attempted to say the same thing, but have not penned it as clearly. Whenever someone offers a compliment to the effect of, “Your daughter is SO wonderful! You’ve done an amazing job raising her – she’s SO…(list of attributes)..” I have say, “It has NOTHING to do with me. I gave her to God, and got out of His way. I do my best not to mess up His good work.” She and I both have a long way to go, but fortunately, I don’t think God is finished with either of us yet.

      • Bev says

        Be intentional about reading some in God’s Word, the Bible everyday and start to hide His Word in your heart by memorizing verses that are special to you. Write them on index cards and keep them close by.

  13. says

    Such wise and wonderful words, and timely with school starting soon! I have a daughter who will be a senior and a son who will be a freshman… I know both of them will be encouraged by this post. Thanks for sharing!

  14. Tara says

    21. You don’t get this time back. Enjoy every experience good and bad. If you’re not enjoying it, at least try and learn something from it.
    I am starting college in the fall and looking back on my high school career I realized I was always rushing to get to the next event or stage in my life. Take time to appreciate the here and now. You’ll thank yourself later!

    • Terri says

      This will happen throughout your life. We are always rushing to get to the next thing. Rushing to get married, rushing to have children, rushing to get them potty trained, and before we know it, they are 18, writing rules like these for other young people. Just like you and High school, we look back and wonder where it all went. If you can consciously determine to try to fully LIVE each stage of life, life will be so much more fulfilling. It is so hard to do…but so worth it!

  15. says

    May we print out these rules for our Shoreline girls? (Shoreline Recovery is a place for Jr. high and Sr. High kids who have gotten into trouble with drugs/alcohol or gangs and have been court ordered to be at Shoreline Recovery. They are incarcerated there until they complete the program.) My church and a couple others do Bible studies, etc. there. Our girls’ leader would like to pass these out to all the girls there. Some of these girls already have children. Thank you.

  16. A Fan says

    I lead a Transit group of rising 8th-grade young men. I’m going to print and give this to them at the end of the year, and tell them to find girls with this list and become friends. Maybe they’ll be fortunate enough to date one of them, if they’re the types of guys a girl following these rules looks for in a guy. 😉 And if I can find my Muse, perhaps I’ll try and rework this list to apply to the guys.

    Great work, Allie, and thanks for sharing, Sandra!

  17. debbie lavazza says

    LIKE EVERYONE… NERD, JOCK, BOOKWORM,… EVERYONE HAS FEELINGS. DONT DISCRIMINATE, AND SAY HI TO EVERYONE YOU ENCOUNTER..

  18. Don Wilkerson says

    Having experienced rearing three children, my eyes watered up reading Allie’s Rules. Remember, all of us were her age one time. She was reared well by her parents. I’m happy to say my three children are responsible adults. They are faithful to the Lord. They have their own children that are grown and getting married. I have been blessed by six grandchildren and six great grandchildren, and still counting. I cannot take all the credit, nor could my wife before she passed. We give the Lord the credit for guiding us and our children and continue to pray for His guidance. Great going, Allie. In Him.

  19. Tifani Thompson says

    Allie is just so beautiful and so amazing! I will be saving this for our girls. We want our girls to grow up just like Allie!,,,,,,raising Kingdom children to show His awesome love and deep care for others! Thanks for sharing this. I smiled and smiled the whole time reading it all!!

  20. Jill says

    I hope and pray my daughter who is entering 2nd grade has an “Allie” when the time comes for her to enter Milton High School. Sometimes it seems like parents can do everything, but advice that agrees with the parents from an older friend is so very impressionable. I also hope my daughter is an “Allie” too!

  21. says

    Wow!!!! I literally just watched the sermon from Berlin
    Sat night on Family! Now this..I’m printing this and I will save it for my girls. Job well done. I will be taking all tips from you as I see the fruit of the spirit! Thank you for sharing!!!

    • Debbie Williams says

      Try applying them to your life and you may be something different at the end. Don’t spend all your energy trying to prove you are something or not.

    • Tracy says

      This wisdom translates across religions (or lack thereof). Choose friends and boyfriends/girlfriends carefully, then treat them well. Walk away if they don’t treat you well in return. Avoid things that could get you jailed, addicted, pregnant, or dead. Have people in your life who can help you check yourself, and listen to them. Keep an open mind and a strong moral compass. Respect others and yourself. In other words, choose attitudes and behaviors that will help you develop into a decent human being. Oh, and whether you believe in God or not, you might wanna grab a Bible and check out Jesus’ teachings in the Book of Matthew, esp. chapters 5, 6, and 7. He was a pretty wise dude.

  22. Joy says

    She has a golden heart and a nurturing spirit! She will touch many lives before she is through doing her mission that she is called to do! Bless you Allie! I pray God keeps you safe in all your endeavors! Thank you for being such a positive role model in these girls lives and to so many others!

  23. Angie says

    Ahh….as the mother of 3 girls ages 8, 13 and 22….this brought a tear to my eye and a lump to my throat. What a blesses mama you are to have a daughter with such an incredible heart for God and for younger girls. How amazing would it be if all of us women loved and encouraged one another like this?!

  24. says

    Thank you for sharing this, as a parent of a recently graduated Chattahoochee daughter, I’m putting myself in your shoes and feeling your pride. Allie is certainly grounded in her faith, and that’s a gift that will keep on giving as she shares her love of God with others.

  25. Jessica says

    What a wonderful list! Your girl certainly has her head on straight. My girl will be 3 this weekend and I am tucking this list away for a few years from now. I made my husband read it and I told him that I would be thrilled if our daughter follows these rules, but if she’s the kind of young woman who can give this advice AND follow it? Wow. I’m not even sure how we get her there but this is a great start! Thank you!

  26. Reagan says

    Thanks so much Sandra and Allie! I am a forty-something single at Buckhead Church and still need so many of these reminders. These are true in high school or in “old school”. I’ll never stop needing these basic truths!

  27. says

    Really great post & fantastic rules.
    I will be doing a slight modification because she is in middle school and not allowed to date yet and plan to add an additional rule.

    “Be a person that shows love to others by building them up with kind words not showing them evil by tearing them apart with ones that hurt.”

    Thanks for sharing this

  28. GinnaJustMarried says

    The three people who will love you no matter what are your parents and God. Notice that Mr. Right Now did not make the list.

  29. Arielle says

    My 14 year old cousin will be starting a high school in a new town in a few weeks. I will definitely be printing this out for her! Keep your rules close by throughout college as well, Allie! 🙂

  30. Darrel Gower says

    I have three girls who are pretty well adjusted.
    One point I have always pointed out to them and taught them to understand is one of my favorite sayings:
    “It’s none of my business what any one thinks of me”

    The context is that regardless of what you do, you will have critics. The only critic you should listen to is yourself. And you should be tough on yourself, but fair because we all have failings and that’s just God’s way of letting us know where we need to improve. But at the end of the day, when you take stock of what you did and how you were that day, the only important question to ask is, “Was I a better person today than yesterday?”
    If the answer is yes, then great – do it again tomorrow.
    If the answer is no, then accept the fact you slipped in living up to your potential and double up the efforts to prevent that in the future.
    The question you never ask is, “What do they think of me?”
    What “they” think of you says more about them than you. It may be interesting, but of little use in your life strategy.

  31. Nicole says

    My oldest daughter graduated this past year and my middle daughter is starting that new chapter in life we all call highschool. These are brilliant rules to live by. As a mother of 4, (3 daughters) I want my daughters to live by these same type of values and of course I want my son to date girls of this nature. The advice to surround yourself with a good group of friends that will hold you accountable is amazing advice. My oldest daughter is very mature for her age, she always has been. I’m very blessed. Although she pretends to hate our advice I know she was listening. She now tells my middle daughter the same things we have preached to her over the years. As she will be heading off to college soon I hope she continues to be a positive role model for not only kids her age but younger kids too. I’m going to print Allie’s rules a and hang them in each of my daughters rooms.

    Thanks so much for raising such an incredible young lady to look after the younger of this wild generation!

  32. Sally Shupert Cavalier says

    Wow Sandra ! This is excellent advice from your Allie . I`m printing it out for Laura to take back to school . ( College) I`m blessed to know she has a good head on her shoulders , although she has struggled through the years. Thank you !

  33. Michelle Sanborn says

    My daughter will start high school tomorrow. I will pass along – thanks! Last year she had an eighth grade dance and had trouble finding an “appropriate” dress to wear. She said to me, “when I grow up I am going to open a clothing store called “Modest is Hottest” for girls like me :)!

  34. Laurie says

    I’ll take that messy room ANYDAY for this! Thinking maybe a middle-schooler could even benefit from this!

  35. Phillip Ketchum says

    I have a Children’s Pastor at my church that always tells his kids the following thing and I have found that it is true. If you really think about it, you will have to agree. If you go into your relationships with this in mind, you will understand the opposite sex and it will not be as devastating when it happens.

    “Boys are dumb and will make girls cry!
    Girls are mean and will break boys hearts!”

  36. Christie says

    Going to share these with my teen girl bible study class! If that is ok? I will give the credit where it is due! God bless!

  37. Ritchie says

    This is easily modified to apply to boys. I did so. Struggling with what to modify about what to get a boy who is a friend has a broken heart…..stuffed toys and blankets may not do the job :}.

    • Jeanette says

      A slurpee (because if you sit around long enough to drink it, they will vent), a mountain bike ride, go fishing, a pickup game of basketball.
      My boys are just getting here, so I’m no expert, but the things she suggested are just tokens to remind the girl she’s loved.

  38. Mom of three says

    What a beautiful young lady! My advise to my children was
    1. You are never better than anyone else, and there is no one better than you. never make fun of anyone and always take up for those that are being bullied, it doesn’t matter what clothes they wear or what disability they have, you are never better than them. (My daughter had a young man in her class that was always being mad fun of, one day in class he was crying because of this, the teacher did nothing, so my daughter got up and went to this young man and told him to come with her, she asked her classmates ” what is wrong with you” the teacher just watched, my daughter took this young man to the office and told the principal what was going on and she was not going to stand by and do nothing. They had a nice long talk with this young man and I’m happy to say he was not picked on anymore!) Sometimes it only takes one person to stand up for someone being bullied, for it to stop. 2. Don’t judge people, you are not in their shoes so you don’t know what is going on in their life.

  39. Mary says

    Peer advice goes a long way! Thank you, Allie! You have made a difference today and for years to come as a result of readers saving your rules for the future. I especially applaud the daughter of “Mom of three,” who took the initiative to help the boy being bullied. What a wonderful gift she gave him, and also the students who bullied him and those who didn’t help. My suggestion would be to give more detail to what’s not “classy.” For some 14 year olds (+ or -) following the crowd might be the classy thing, or what the media more often holds up as the model that’s “in.” Here you might mention bullying, shunning others, using others, etc. As one parent, wrote, looking at others and self as equals. All are gifted! All are in process.
    Saying something too about how mistakes, wrong choices might affect one’s life dramatically for the months, perhaps years ahead. Perhaps for life. Even end one’s life or another. Drinking is a terrible problem for high school and college students. At the same time, wrongs can be corrected and one can change the course of one’s life. Certainly here is where faith, determination, good will plays a major part.
    Parents of little ones: do your best, be your best, mostly be very loving! There are no magic shields, potions, mind melds you can put over, into, on your kids. Because of you (God, family, community, etc.) they will be good people and most likely make better choices, but they will be their own people too. When they fall, most will, they will know you will be there to help, support, forgive, love them. That’s the greatest gift you can give them: your unconditional love!
    I did read one study once that four that the best excuse teens could give others who were prodding them to do something wrong, dangerous, was: “my parents will kill me!” Kids understood that one.
    Best of wishes to you, Allie, and to all you parents of teens and young adults too! Also to all of you just starting this crazy life of parenting! May you each be proud, blessed, love, and rest!
    PS No expert but have raised four kids now raising their kids. They are each good people. Outstanding actually! But that’s not to say they were perfect children/teens/young adults, and there were no worries! Also have worked with youth. Many ups but some downs there too! Am involved with one young mom who made many wrong choices, but who is pulling her life together now! Thank you, God!
    S

  40. Karen says

    This is a great list. I’ll be modifying it very slightly for my daughter and her friends who aren’t part of a Christian religion, but following your faith and spirituality is very important no matter what your age is. It’ll boil down to “Be to yourself and your fellow human beings.” 🙂

    One rule I’ll be adding is, “Don’t believe it when people say high school is the best years of your life.” It may be the best years of your life SO FAR, but there are far greater things coming. This is your chance to build the foundation for who you will be as an adult. You’ll make mistakes (and learn from them), but be sure to move on from them as well.

  41. Faith says

    Don’t hang around people just because they accept you. I went to a church the other day that talked about that. Anyone can accept you, especially if it’s the wrong crowd, the crowd that won’t lead you towards god. Stick to your real friends, the ones that have your back no matter what, the ones that would come to see you to tell you they love you when you’re on your death bed, that’s the kind of people that you wanna be around, people that would miss you tomorrow if you died today. That’s one of my rules and I’m only 14. That’s the lesson I’ve learned.

  42. Regina Dill says

    My daughter is in Middle school and her friends are deep into makeup, selfies, boys, and revealing clothes. My daughter is into sports, pony tails and modest clothing. Reading this was just music to her ears!!! Thank you so much for the post. We have printed it and it will be posted in her locker this year. 🙂

  43. jean nelson says

    This is so awesome. This Mom/parents gave so much to be thankful andproud of. This is an incredible young woman. God bless you and may He fulfill all of your dreams.

  44. TK says

    Well, it looks like this has “Gone Viral” as they say. Great list! I’m a dad of a teen just getting ready to start high school next week. I think she is ready…I don’t know if I am 🙂 Thank you for putting this out there!

  45. Kathy says

    These are excellent. I would add for #21:
    You can always become like those who have lost their virginity any time you want, but they can never regain their virginity which is a special gift reserved for marriage.

  46. Karen says

    Thanks for sharing. I plan to share with my teenage boys (because really they apply to boys too, with a little tweaking) and my teenage stepdaughter. You’ve obviously done a great job raising your daughter. The one rule my boys have had since elementary school and I hear from others that they are still applying in high school, is it is never acceptable to be mean to anybody. I was bullied as a kid and I did not ever want to hear my boys were guilty of that. Even a little bit of kindness can go such a long way and it is so easy to do.

  47. Sherrie says

    This is amazingly wise of your daughter! And so true. Also think, that with a few tweeks, this could also be wonderful advice for boys entering High School. It’s such a difficult world these days.

  48. Hugh says

    This one from my daughter (now a missionary) 10 years ago, when she was baptized at 14:

    I don’t want to fit in with the crowd, I want to stand out.

  49. Desiree' says

    I love this!!!
    I know most of the people who have commented are parents but I just graduated and I’m fixing to start college next week. I just wanted to say I wish someone had given me these rules when I started high school. I truly think I would have done a lot of stuff differently and that I would have have my life to Christ sooner. I’ve already shared this with my friends and my little sister who’s starting tenth grade.

  50. Felice says

    Thank you!!! As a mother to 3 daughters…..You are a true blessing & will impact women you will never meet. THANK YOU!

  51. Brittany says

    This is some amazing advice that is for more than just girls in high school, but can and should also be given to those enterring college as well.
    Here is 3 pieces of advice:
    Always keep your faith in god no matter how hard it maybe.
    Pray at all times even if it may not seem like the best time.
    Do not be affraid to ask for help in a difdicult subjecy

    • says

      I raised five daughters and I wish Allie had been around for a little help! They have all turned out to be beautiful women and caring Mothers…I always had the help of the oldest sister to tell the younger sister what was cool and accepted and the people to avoid. If I could add anything to the list in the paragraph concerning parents it would be to never let anyone turn you and influence you to turn away from them…they are the ones who truly care more about you than anyone else and no one can take their place!!!

  52. says

    If you dad doesn’t already do so, ask him to interview all potential dates prior to going out with him to discern if you should date this boy. And most importantly, trust him either way!

  53. Kitty says

    Got a list for ninth grade boys?;-) He’s a gem with Jesus in his heart, and I’d like him to stay that way!

  54. Sharon says

    My daughter will be 12 on Saturday and has went to a private catholic school since she was 3 years old. There is only 15 kids in her class 6 of them girls. For the past 3 years she has been bullied by some of these girls to the point of her being in counseling. We have made the decision that this year she will be going to the public school. She is entering the 7th grade in a few weeks and she stated she needs to get to the public school and establish her friends before the bullies come in 2 years. I can’t wait to show her Allies rules I think this will help her find some comfort. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge with our young girls. You are a very wise young lady Allie thank you.

    • Cynthia says

      I’m not sure I agree with that statement Cecilia. Many of the foundations we build for our future life are built during high school. While the issues of high school end at graduation, the lessons we learn from the experience stay with us for life.

  55. Charlotte Schroeder says

    Thank you Allie. Your rules are something that all young ladies should hear/read. They are put into words in a way that is…well, just for them.
    My daughter was teased in elementary school for being “smart” and getting good grades. One thing we have always told her is to never be ashamed if you’re smart or get good grades. Be proud to be called “the smart chick” or ” the geeky girl”! Those are compliments!
    She listened and never let others’ opinions hold her back from going after what she wanted.
    My daughter, now 16, is heading off to finish high school at Governor’s School of Science & Mathmatics.
    #geekygirlsareamazing

  56. Sarah Branham says

    I would add about 3 things! 1. Don’t be afraid to be who you are, it will get you further in the long run.
    2. ALWAYS turn your work in on time, or early if possible. Saves stress from you and teachers! No one likes a grumpy teacher.
    3. Listen to others around you when they tell you something is not right. They can see what you can’t.
    I love this post and everything about it! I’m going into my senior year and I feel like I still need these rules! I will definitely be sharing these!

  57. Melanie says

    Thanks so much for sharing this!! What a wise and tender-hearted daughter you’ve raised!! I’m going to copy the list, print it out and hang it on my daughter’s wall. She’ll be a junior this year. She could give some of this advice, but she also needs some of it. 😉 Thanks again!!

  58. Dian Smith says

    Your daughter sounds like a special young lady. I want to say THANK YOU. You are teaching her to care and like herself and other. Great job MOM!

  59. Hailey says

    Always stand up for yourself and others if being mistreated, no one deserves to get treated like a door mat.

    Grades are important, don’t get yourself in a rut. It’s hard to turn that D- into a B+ but oh so easy for an A to turn into a C.

    Never ditch your girls for a guy. Ever.

    Don’t be afraid to be yourself.

    Always always always respect your teachers.

    These are just some things I’ve learned throughout high-school too. I couldn’t agree more with Allie’s rules, there’s not very many other teenagers that think this way anymore. Definitely sharing with my baby sister whom is an 8th grader this year. Thank you so much for sharing this!

  60. Nancy says

    What a great thing to do! I have taught middle school for the past 20 years. The things that were worrisome to parents have changed over the years, and the changes have not been for the better.
    Our two daughters didn’t give us problems, but who knows what will happen with our grandchildren.

    Our oldest grandchild is going into 5th grade, and as far as I know, she is still very innocent. Still, I thought your daughters words of advice were so good, that I pasted them to a word document (giving credit and the URL to find the article) and printed it out 4 times. I plan to keep one, give one to each of my daughters for their daughters (and even my grandson) when the time comes that they think they should share it, and I printed it one more time for my sister to give to her son for his daughters.

    Your daughter has a special gift, and it sounds as though she has been (and will be) a blessing to the girls she has formed this special relationship with. God bless her. We need more young adults who are willing to get in there with the tweens and steer them in the right direction. Job well done, mom and dad!

  61. Marie says

    If there is more to this list, I would sure love to see it. What wonderful advice for these young girls. I thought it was tough when I WAS 14!! Thank goodness social media wasn’t a part of my world back then! What a remarkable young woman you have…

  62. Jill says

    Great article… One you could add is “Work ethic, integrity and a positive attitude will always win out over skill… in all areas of life!”

  63. Patricia says

    Thank you for sharing and that it has been shared across FB and other social media! This is great rules not only for girls but boys as well. My son starts high school this year and I am certainly going to share with him! It can be such a trying time for kids and as long as they remember to trust God and their gut they will come out a lot better than many.

  64. samantha says

    Nicely said. I have a middle school daughter and much of this is perfect for her. To add – Be the change you want to see; in your school, in your community, in your world.

    Thank you for sharing

  65. Barbara Styles says

    My mom you have raised a daughter that will always bring you love and respect. What a list of rules
    that would make any mother proud.. A daughter that loves her GOD, respects his word, his guidelines for a life of joy and happiness. Mom you have certainly been a wonderful example for
    her to follow. When you have your quiet time, realize that your efforts have not been in vain and thank your GOD that she is an example that any mother would be proud to call her daughter.
    GOD BLESS YOU TWO.

  66. Beth says

    This is a testament to the GREAT job you have done and shows how important being grounded in church really is for teenagers. You should be one proud mama 🙂

  67. Heather says

    These are very good rules that can apply not only to high school but to any part of ones life. Very inspirational.

  68. Andi says

    I think those of us who are moms of boys, can share this list with our sons as well. Just replace the pronouns and you get exactly the way I want my son to treat himself and the girls he encounters. I have told my boys that if you are physically intimate with a girl, you can’t take it back. And when, or if, you figure out they aren’t the one you intend to spend your life with, you’ve created a hurt unlike any other hurt. I’ve coached them that girls love in their minds and hearts long before the physical body, and they need to respect that with the way they treat the girls they date. I hope those of you with daughters know there are moms out here who are trying to teach our boys the way to treat girls…and love to hear that you are doing the same!!!! I’m praying for my sons’ wives yet to come!!!! Maybe one of them is your baby girl!!!

  69. Shauna says

    Thank you Allie and Mom!! I have 2 little girls (under 5) and I want this for them someday. But, more importantly, I printed this off for the young ladies I have the privilege of running with. I am part of a non-profit that runs and trains for 5K, 10K and 10 Mile runs with urban-inner city- youth. My young girls need these rules! I am looking forward to giving this as a gift to my young lady that I run with. Thank you!

  70. says

    I am a high school student myself. I will be going into the 10th grade. It was wonderful to see these rules because it opened my eyes to see what I have never seen before!!! thanks Allie!! 🙂

  71. Donna M. Hartley says

    I have copied your daughter’s rules and pasted them into a word document. I have re-named them “Allie’s Rules for Girls at School” and attached a beautiful, colorful butterfly. Then, I went in an changed each rule’s color to a bright color. At the bottom, I wrote “adapted from Allie Stanley’s ‘Allie’s Rules for High School'”. I have printed it on cardstock, punched holes in it and my granddaughter, a rising 8th grader in middle school, is placing it as the first page in her binder. THANK YOU for sharing Allie’s Rules. And, please tell Allie
    her rules will be with my precious granddaughter for the next five years! May God continue to bless your daughter to reach out and touch the lives of others that trail in her footsteps! What a blessing she has been!!!!!!!!!!!!

  72. Brenda says

    Send the negative or angry text or email to yourself first – read it the next morning and then decide if it’s still worth sending. .

    Ask your teachers lots of questions.

  73. Tiffany Marler says

    Love this. Love when our kids show us the amazing humans they are. Shared with my 12 year old going into middle school in a couple weeks. Ive told her to hold on…this is going to be a rough few years but she is strong enough to handle it. All I can do is love her and hold her up when she needs it. Good job big kid…many kids will be enlightened by your words.

  74. Kay W says

    I am passing this along to my granddaughter (who, btw, is also named Allie!). She will be starting Junior High in a couple of weeks, and I know what kind of peer pressure starts even at such a young age. Thank you so much for sharing this list with us. What a remarkable young woman you have raised!

  75. Dawn Peterman says

    Even as an adult with adult children, I found a lot of good advise in Allie’s rules that pertain to me. It is good to remember all that God has done for us.

  76. says

    my daughter (rising freshman) said the first rule should be “to love the Lord no matter what the circumstance is”. LOVED the list. she wants me to print it off for her ;))

  77. Melisa says

    While my child is out of school I have a Godchild that is very dear to me and will be attending high school this year so I have printed this out for him and I will also keep a copy for when my 3 grandchildren get there. Thanks so much and hats off to your parents for a job well done in raising you

  78. Emma says

    I my self am a teenage girl headed into my senior year. One thing that I feel should be added would be “Just because he says you’re pretty doesn’t mean his intentions are always pure.”

  79. says

    I love this so much. I just graduated this spring from high school, and I can testify that
    1. All of this advice really works
    2. It really is possible to live wisely as a teenager

    The only other thing I would say really helped me was choosing carefully what I fed myself in regards to music and entertainment. My day was always so much better when Needtobreathe started my morning in the car instead of Miley.

  80. Dana says

    Another good piece of advice is always be kind even if they are unkind to you because you never know the battle, life issue or unhappiness they may be going through or dealing with in their life and their way of venting or dealing with it is taking it out on other’s, which is wrong but being unkind back does not help or make it any better it makes it 10 times worse for all involved!!! “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”

  81. Tracie says

    This is a great list, your daughter has much maturity for her young age.
    I would add that if you are involved in an activity that would embarrass you if your friends, parents, teachers, etc found out, then don’t do it.
    I found this link of FB, so I may share it and print it and leave it just laying around for my own daughter who will be a senior this year, she has, so far, made good choices too but reminders never hurt!

  82. Carol says

    I am a public high school teacher and counselor. I cannot print and give these out myself, but I can print and give them to a friend who can give them out:) Every student in my high school will get a copy.

  83. Ana says

    How encouraging!!! I have a soon to be 15yr old and each one of these rules have been given to her over and over and over again, It is reassuring to me that this comes from your daughter as i often question myself if “we” are too strict or too harsh on her according to what everyone else is doing…Thank you.

  84. Teresa says

    The one part I don’t like about this: not every parent has a child’s best interests in mind. Sometimes lying to parents is necessary for the child’s survival. Some children DO have abusive parents, and messages like this tell them that they will not likely be supported if they come forward and talk about what’s happening to them.

  85. says

    oh this is awesome! thanks so much for sharing. sounds like you have done an amazing job with your daughter. i will be checking this blog more often for teenager support! i have a freshmen daughter this year and 3 sisters right behind her. i’m printing this our for my 9th grader now!

  86. Brittney Allen says

    I am a 21 year old college student and when I read this, I really wished I knew about this before I went to high school and college. I didn’t really have that much of a supportive group of friends in high school as much as I do now in college. Although a group of girlfriends of mine are always there to do stuff with me like celebrate my birthday and go to lunch/dinner with me, they aren’t really helping me grow my faith in God. But I can say that I am a part of two churches where I go to school at and they are just wonderful, God loving people and they’ve helped me grow closer to Christ than when I was in high school. I also wish that I knew what type of guys to date because I was just all over the place when I first started college and a bit in high school. I am still growing and learning about God and who to be around with and who not to be around with. I do have some advice she could put on her list. One is don’t give in to peer pressure. No matter what everyone else is doing, do what you think is right and best. And another be happy. Happiness is contagious. Once people see how happy you are, they will be happy as well.

  87. Sandy says

    Great rules, wish someone would have given these to me in my teenage years. Definitely going to share them with my 11 yr. old daughter going into 6th grade.
    Will keep the list around and have her read them again in a couple years when she goes to high school. Thanks for sharing!

  88. Amy says

    I love this list and posted it to my 14 year old daughter who will be starting high school in a few short weeks. One rule that I have told her from my own experience in high school is to not even worry about dating, concentrate on your girlfriends and having fun. If you aren’t viewing the guy as marriage material, then there is no need to date.

  89. says

    You should be quite proud of your daughter to be thinking ahead like this!

    Wisdom is sorely missing in us younger folk. As a 33 year old single male, I am constantly taken aback by folks my age, younger, and older–so many of Life’s challenges needn’t exist if but for a little forethought and Wisdom.

    My last year in college, I wrote a 15 page “Definition of Success” to myself based on your husband’s book, The Best Question Ever. I had once shared it with John Woodall, and he told me I had essentially written a book manuscript.

    Anyway–reading what your daughter wrote reminded me of what I had once done for myself, and it has never steered me wrong. Those girls are lucky to have your daughter as a guide…you should be quite proud!

  90. says

    I frequently tell my daughter that having a boyfriend isn’t what makes her important. That being a child of God does. And ultimately his opinion is the only one that matters! (Well and of course her us as her parents)

  91. Nancy Rodriguez says

    Thank you for this! I am going to share this with our girls in 220 Student Ministries @ Avalon Church, Orlando, FL! Allie-These are gems of wisdom! Thank you young lady!
    Nancy Rodriguez

  92. tahlia says

    I am a senior this year about to leave high school and i have some things to add to the list as well.
    1)be yourself no matter what
    2)not everyone will like you but thats okay because no one else defines who you are
    3)love hard and laugh even harder
    4)speak up, always have a voice in everything you do,but be careful not to overshadow
    5) stay focused be about your business but also enjoy yourself
    6) not everyone is your friend some are associates and some will be be permanent impacting figures
    7)STAY CLASSY,RESPECT YOURSELF AND STAY FARRRRRR AWAY FROM DRAMA
    8)LOVE GOD AND SHOW HIS LOVE IN EVERYTHING YOU DO
    🙂

  93. says

    I don’t have kids but those are some awesome rules to go by your daughter has come up with. I will be sharing these with my niece and nephews. You’ve done a great job raising your daughter.

  94. Lenny says

    I have a 10 and 6 year old (no boys). I will definitely be printing and sharing this with both eventually. I was getting chocked up reading this and then #20 helped me laugh a little. I can’t express enough these concerns I have and amazed at this 18 year old’s wisdom along with mom’s and dad’s great job. Thanks for sharing!

  95. Bruce Brady says

    You have a very wise daughter. You’ve done a great job of raising her. She should write a book about her “rules” and how she developed them. God bless you both.

  96. tracy says

    OK…anybody else see the elephant in this room? Sure an 18 year old girl, mentoring middle school girls wrote a well intended list. Is she educated or trained for this work? She’s doing the parents, seminary trained youth ministers and wise faith-based family friends jobs. The title is ‘high school rules’ but they are actually personal intimacy and common sense thoughts. When you send your 9th grader to youth group, the place where girls get christian education, is this where she learns about high school from someone who’s just graduated herself? Do we send daughters to church for rules given by an 18 year old girl without training or MFT experience?
    Next, what’s up with her ‘messy room’? She’s 18 years old. and still can’t put her clothes away? We taught that “messy rooms’ are disrespectful. Our kids were responsible for only 1 room in the whole house and we lived in an upscale community with a housekeeper. They cleaned their room by the time they were 10. I’m not claiming they were perfect but they used hampers, hung clothes and made beds before leaving daily. They’re now are almost 23 and 20, on deans list and working 25 – 60 hours a week with faith foundations and respectful behavior. They learned ‘rules for high school’ from us and seminary trained youth group leaders at church.
    So…Isn’t anyone else just a little sad that church kids need a well intended list given without parents knowledge by a nice 18 year old, middle school mentor when they send their 14 year old girls to church?
    Does the pastor know that she’s writing ‘high school rules’ for girls?

    • Sandra Stanley says

      Hi Tracy, thank you for your feedback. I can totally understand your perspective on both points.
      Just to be clear for my readers, Allie was the student impact small group leader for this group of middle schoolers. There was also an adult leader. We’ve found that teaming student leaders with adults is a great way to have a role model closer to the ages of the kids. The maturity of the adult leader coupled with the student leader’s perspective has worked really well for us. In my desire to keep blog posts short and easy to read, I don’t always get all of the details in!
      On the messy room front, that has been somewhat a matter of definition. Sometimes her definition of a clean room is different from mine. ☺ In this case, she was in the middle of unpacking from a trip when the idea struck her to jot down these ideas for her girls.
      Again, thank you for reading and commenting!

    • Elizabeth says

      Thank you, Tracy. I’m also a meticulous person who would prefer that no one excels without working hard for the credentials (Matthew 23:34-36). You might even say I’m right there with you on the messy room – its much more important to be clean than to take the time to share a sudden spiritual opportunity or insight (Luke 10:41,42

      I AM being facetious, but I DO relate. I often look for fault when I perceive someone has favor in my special domain (which can be anything.) I will pray for both of us. Jealousy, aka, judgement, can blind faith and kill the spirit. I wonder if there is any sin that is more transparent to others and so invisible to ourselves. Much love.

    • Margaret Head says

      Would you rather have a teenager with a perfect room, but pregnant OR a teenager with a messy room, but a GOOD heart helping others see that God’s rules for living are more precious than gold?

  97. says

    This is great insight and advice. The only things I would add is…1. Guard your reputation because it goes out ahead of you and speaks out to people you haven’t even met yet.. And 2. Group or at least double date. Dating one on one puts you in a vulnerable position. As a mother of 3 daughters, I reminded my girls of their unique value in a disposable society; they could choose to be paper plates or fine china by their behavior. (never be alone with a young man). And advice for moms…they know and hear about more than you can even imagine! So be upfront and allow open communication. If they can’t talk to you, they are talking to their girlfriends.

  98. says

    Your daughter has learned well. How awesome that you inquired about what she was doing rather than create tension by lecturing her on her room. Think of how different the conversation could of gone if you said “Get off your computer and clean this room before you do anything else” She may have not wanted to share her list with you then. Your patience, and putting her before your desires for a clean house cultivated trust and openness in your relationship. This is beautiful for so many reasons additional to the fantastic list. Bravo Stanley’s! Share more of this wisdom with me. I need it so. 🙂

  99. says

    Dear Sandra,

    I shared these rules with my Granddaughter who is 15….she told me “that girl knows about how boys really are and it was good, but she forgot to mention the most important rule…Homework comes before everything else except God”. She was so serious..as a special ed student, she struggled through grade school and junior high, but it seems that everything has clicked into place in high school. She goes to an engineering and technology academy and does well now. Thanks so much for sharing those rules…they really meant something to both of us. I printed them out for my granddaughter to share with her “besties”. Lila B

  100. Deidre says

    Thank you for sharing this list! My daughter also just finished high school and I am also a middle school guidance counsellor. One other piece of advice that has helped my girl and the girls at school: if it’s not your story to tell, don’t tell it…..

  101. says

    I work with high school students and help them with their college applications. When Allie goes to write her essays for her college applications, this will be a perfect topic! She’s already half way done. Congratulations. What an impressive young woman.

  102. G says

    Regarding dating, my 16 year old high school junior might say what she once tweeted: “I wish every girl knew being His is more important and comes before being his.” That is the choice she is making, though she has great Christian boys that she has forged close friendships with and with whom she socializes often. It’s how she chooses to guard her heart & it has also eliminated a lot of drama from her high school years so far, compared to her friends. She believes the purpose/end result of serious dating is to find your future spouse, so she just doesn’t think it makes sense for her at this age.

    She switched from a Christian school to public in 8th grade & while I was fearful, she had peace from day one and is a light to those she encounters. They respect her for her faith & do not try to drag her down. While she witnesses everyday as she weaves messages of her faith and testimony into everyday ‘life’ conversations, she is not judgmental and remains relatable. I see many seeking what she has by asking her questions & for advice, coming to her youth group, repenting, etc. She has her eyes on the future and is chasing God’s will for her life. She aspires to be a world changer for Him, but she has also realized the importance of her day to day walk now & the difference she’s making already.

    I am so proud of her, but mostly, am appreciative for God’s hand & grace in her life.

    So, young ladies & gentlemen, set those boundaries and stick to them as Sally’s wise daughter says! Remain steadfast knowing you are not only protecting yourself, your heart & your future; but you will, no doubt, positively impact others, too!!

    Thanks for sharing!

  103. says

    Most excellent, awesomeness. It’s long been one of my great regrets in parenting that we didn’t continue to have our middle kid remain close to the girls in small group, one of whom was Allie.
    I’m thankful for you, Allie!

  104. Carina Morton says

    Thank you again for this! Our daughter starts high school tomorrow and we made a point to re-read this to her.

  105. Catherine Rogers says

    I’ve had the honor of being one of many who spends 1 day a week sharing a course created by Focus on the Family, with our local 9th and 10th graders (girls and boys). It is a successful program and offers/encourages opportunities for students to open up to adults in their life. Here are two things I always incorporate into my teaching of the class: Remember whatever it is you are going through, if you have made a mistake, if you lost your temper, if you have made a failing grade, if you have spoken hastily some hurtful words, etc, don’t throw in the towel. it’s not the end of all. It is not the sum total of your life, that one action, that one decision doesn’t define you. It is but one day in your life. Truly tomorrow is a new day with another chance to get it right. Even the bible tells us God’s mercies are new each day. The second thing I tell them is that physically it is a fact that the part of their brain which controls their ability to reason out situations is not fully developed until age twenty five. That means when an adult is telling you the opposite of what you want to hear it is probably because they have already reasoned out the consequences. They know what’s over the next hill. It is a fact,with age comes wisdom. Everyone wants a good friend. The way to have one is to be one. God bless you Allie for all you do.

  106. says

    This is so great, I think it’s pretty close to appropriate for my rising 6th grade boy. He is not at all interested in girls yet, but the other rules are amazing, memorable and wonderful guides to life. Thank you!

  107. Tammy says

    22. Digital is FOREVER. If there is a possibility that it could ever be “seen by the wrong person”, or “read by the wrong person”, then DO NOT take that picture, or write that email/text/SnapChat/journal entry.

  108. says

    Hi Sandra,
    My friend sent me the link for this article as I just posted something related to it on my website. It was sweet to see that your daughter was sensitive to these high school girls’ needs and came up with this list. SHE IS A WINNER! I clap hands for her, but before that I give glory to God for what He is doing and will continue to do in her life and though her.
    Thank you for sharing.

  109. Julie says

    Youth pastor once said To avoid trouble stay upright and in the light! This has multiple meanings. Can mean physically to help you stay within your barriers and spiritually to remain strong.

  110. Annette says

    And I would add to this beautiful list when you take a wrong turn, choice or action do the next correct thing.

  111. Fran says

    I teach 8th grade and would love to share this with my students each year before they leave me. Not only is it beautifully written, but coming from a teenager will have much more effect. Having raised two wonderful teenagers, I understand the importance of this. May I have your permission to share this and create a bookmark of the rules (editing it to include boys) for a going away gift for my students?

  112. says

    So much wisdom and strength here!! Your mom’s heart had to be bursting! Reminds me of one of my favorite verses as I thank God so often regarding my own children ~ IIIJohn1:4 “I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth.” God bless!!

  113. Clarice E Elliott says

    Mind thoughts – great following I will pass on to my granddaughter and other members of my family and persons I know that will accept it and read with an open heart. Thanks so much – you are blessed.

  114. Haleigh Terrell says

    Don’t let people pick on you for what you look like, you’re perfect just the way you are. GOD made you exactly how he wanted you.

  115. Angie says

    Don’t date in high school – at least not if you are college prep and don’t have an aim at being married straight out of high school. If remaining vertical is a concern, you’re already in a situation you shouldn’t be in. How about the rules – do your best at your school work. Enjoy group activities centered around seeing new places and trying new skills, rather than sampling new substances. Learn to cook, do your laundry, find an exercise routine you love. Be kind – do something nice for someone else every day.

  116. says

    stay humble. Even if you are doing great! Be happy for your success and help others but do NOT boast. God gave it He can take it too!

  117. Monty Rhoades says

    I would like to add this: “Modesty isn’t about hiding your body: it’s about revealing your dignity”

  118. Debbie says

    What wonderful advice. I love it and thank you for sharing. Some of this advice can go towards boys as well.

  119. T.Preston says

    I have three teen daughters. I love them so very much. My youngest just completed her freshman year and I forwarded this to her to read and share with her friends. Thank you for Godly parenting and raising a Godly daughter.
    I recently set up an email to send them things I want them to have as teens, young adults and someday parents. This made the cut.

  120. Ashley O. says

    I’m 18 and just graduated highschool. I’ve went through highschool without a boyfriend, without drinking or smoking and without other things if you catch my drift so my advice is you DON’T HAVE TO do all those things to have FUN and also Do your homework no matter how much you don’t want to, just do it and get it over with. And also don’t be so quickly to judge people that’s one thing I was bad at and when I finally took the time to get to know some people they ended up becoming some of my favorite people that I’m going to miss when I leave for college. Also tryout for stuff and if at first you don’t succeed try again. I was so happy and honored to have an extra curricular activity for all my four years. So don’t be so afraid to go for what you want I sure was glad when I did I ended up becoming president of the science and art club and was treasurer for my senior class student Council and I was in G.L.A.D club which is garrard leaders against drugs. Be involved with the community. Go to church I regret not going the nights I should’ve went. So go grow closer with the Lord you won’t regret. Be friends with everyone because not everyone is a bad person that you make them out to be. So go to highschool learn have fun and do good. And never and I mean never let anyone tell you what you can’t do. What ever you put your mind to you can do it. I would say the sky is the limit but there are foot prints on the moon.

    • Ashley O. says

      Also to add to my comment I was in the marching band and my junior year we won a state championship and we’re the first to win any kind of state championship in my county’s history and we were and still already one the best things my County has to offer. So marching band is cooler than you think and you can become friends with anybody I was a band geek who was friends with football players, cheerleaders, others who were consider as “nerds” etc. So don’t let cliché take over. And go to prom and yes you can go alone it’s not he end of the world and yes you can ask somebody don’t be embarrassed to.
      Be yourself I definitely was and that’s the one thing everyone always told me was that I was my own person and it’s what they liked about me. Don’t let people change you. And you can wear make up or not honestly no on cares if you do or if you don’t. If they don’t like you still be nice it’s what kills them most one saying I was told throughout highschool was kill them with kindness and I always live by it. And always be kind to people the smallest act of kindness can make someone’s day trust me I’ve seen it with my own eyes. Don’t try to be part of the cool crowd. You can lose yourself within them trust me I’ve seen it happen to people. And always stay true to your standards set them high and don’t lower them that will get you nowhere. So always be you listen to yourself and your needs.

  121. Hope says

    Thank you (and your daughter) so much for this! I’m a brand new (old) mom reading during a midnight feeding with my 8-week old daughter and am saving this to share with her over the next 18 years… What remarkable, timeless and universal advice that is just spot on!!

  122. Lisa Osborn says

    This is wonderful and so full of wisdom and humility… But one of the things that I think that a lot of people have missed is that the one delivering this message is not in fact the parents, but in essence a peer. This actually makes a bit of a difference. Definitely parents should speak these things to their children and encourage them, but to have someone else they respect and feel loved by to speak into their lives is HUGE! We need community! We need to also teach them as you have to care about others and walk with those younger! Great job Holy Spirit, way to go mom! And this young lady is so on track as a world changer for Christ! Thankful for you both!

  123. Kim says

    My 15-year-old daughter is finishing her sophomore year. She’s so smart and mature, and my favorite advice she gives herself is rise above the drama. She hates the goofy, high school drama and ignores it when her friends engage it. She also says be true to yourself and not change for anyone. I’m so proud. And great list, btw.

  124. Michelle G says

    My cousin posted this!! I shared with my daughter who will be in 8th grade. She loved it!! She even said ‘Mom please save that”. Of all the things I have asked her to read this is the first one she asked me to save!!

  125. Joy says

    Great! Love it 🙂
    I’m in high school right now, and I remember the early years of high school being stressful. I would also add that they find a healthy way to deal with stress, because high school WILL present stress AND unhealthy ways to deal with it (such as alcohol, drugs, self-injury, etc).

  126. says

    My daughter is a rising Junior in high school. One thing I would add to the list is the concept of not to be afraid to stand up for yourself and punch someone in the face if you say NO and they still persist. There was a boy in one of her classes who obviously had a crush on her all year. The last day of school he insisted that she hug him. She said no, repeatedly. He persisted. When he wrapped his arms around her to pull her close, she came around with a left hook and punched him right in the nose! (The teacher watched, and sided with her.) Stand up for yourself if you are not respected. Take necessary action.

  127. Jenifer Gasho says

    Lizzie Gasho, both you and Andrew Gasho should read this. This article and list summarize many of the things I try and teach you, yet too often fall short of. My example to you with some of the choices I’ve made, and my difficulty finding the exact words to use or how to best communicate with you, are subpar to what you both deserve from your mother. I apologize and ask you to forgive me for this. Despite everything, You humble me daily with multiple actions affirming your growth. Also, by your expressions of love and encouraging support that you not only show others, but me as well. You regularly point out that the uplifting lessons and positive traits I’ve instilled in you, outnumber any negatives and the downfalls I have. To God be the glory Lizzie, both you and Andrew are excellent teenagers and a true delight to not only watch but participate in raising. You’re frequently teaching me as I seek to teach you. We’re in this together and with God by our side, all things are possible! Although we’ve had our bumps in the road, you have both displayed excellent behavior, been complaint, are well liked, kind mannered, humble, easy going, and an overall joy to be around since the day you were born. In no way have you been the unruly teenagers many people talk or complain about. I’m truly blessed! Stay true to who you are! Stand firm in your beliefs! Continue to love everyone and love you will receive back x10. Thank you both. For being who you are, the good and the bad (nearly always good but none of us are perfect), for showing others love unconditionally, and for choosing to give life your all, every part of it. Hold tight to this list. Print it for safe keeping and when the day comes that you are on your own, think of me when you reference it. I love you both so very much!

  128. Ashlan says

    I dont know if someone has said this in the comments above but I’ll share anyway (: I’m 18 And recently graduated from high school. Every girl needs to read this list! One thing I did in high school for the most part was: talk to everyone depending on their “group” you’re not above ANYONE! And (I struggled with this one) remember you are NOT below anybody. Treat everyone the same no matter how they treat you. (:

  129. Rebecca says

    Another rule for online posting – Never ever post what might ruin a future relationship, including future employment. You cannot delete anything that you have posted. On Facebook especially, everything is recorded for the government, and also employers and judges can summon for it anytime to look at your character. Are you a respectable person? Practice that now and build upon it!

    I cannot stress enough for your choice of mates may seem to be expanding as you are young. But, that is an illusion. Your choices of mates will change as you learn things about that person – and so shall they learn things about you that will either confirm that you are a good person or not for them. Online posting is not a private diary by any means. Respect your self and others.

  130. says

    These are the best rules EVER!!! I wish my daughter would’ve have had a friend or mentor like Allie. What a great list of rules! I have the honor of co-leading a bible study for young ladies (16-21) starting this fall. My intention is to print and read this story and share with them “Allie’s Rules”. We will encourage them to practice them in a way that will honor Jesus first, Others 2nd and Yourselves last (JOY). Prayerfully, the girls in our study will have something to contribute and we can share back with you and help grow that list for all girls! Thank you again for sharing this, for loving God so much that you trusted Him on how to raise your daughter and for your daughter trusting Him and applying what she knows to others!!

  131. Amy Fisher says

    And this is one of the many reasons I am so thankful for Allie’s love, friendship, and influence in my daughter Townsend’s life! Thank you!

  132. Crissy says

    Wow! Thanks for sharing. I am going to share these with my eight year old son. It is great advice for girls AND boys. I also teach 8th grade English, and I plan to share it in class…Way to go, Allie! And thank you.

  133. says

    My 15 year old daughter says ” remember boyfriends will come and go, friends will be friends forever, so don’t let a boy come between a friendship (friends can be of the other sex), however, if you do have a friend of the other sex, don’t cross the line of friendship there- it will make things awkward.” Also,” put the utmost importance on your school work and grades, as well as you attendance; these are things that will remain in your life forever!” “Don’t try to fit in, if you have to change who you are to be around people, you are going down the wrong path (of course, assuming that you are on the right path)…. you should never have to change who you are unless you’re pulling yourself out of a sinkhole of life”. “All of these tests and finals and other things of that sort, take them seriously”. “My mom works as a PASS Aide in the high school that I attend, she is always lecturing these kids that we are the faces and attitudes of our Countries future, so we need to take a stand, and do what is right….” “I bring God with me to school every single day, even though the Country wants to take God out of our school systems, I, for one, will take a stand, and I will bring God with me everywhere that I go; and really care less who thinks what about it! If you don’t like it, you don’t have to be my friend, it’s nost probably that you would bring too much negativity my way anyways” “Stand up for what you believe in, but do it with class…..” “always remember who you are, and don’t lose sight of your dreams and goals, your high school staff, can work with you towards those dreams and goals, and never think that they are working against you, because they {like your parent(s) want the best for you and will do everything to see you be successful in life}♡, so please, don’t forget or give up on your dreams, because that means that you are giving up on yourself”

  134. Belinda Preece says

    Excellent words of advise. This can apply in situations, in the home, neighborhood or the work place.

  135. Natalie says

    When shopping for clothes, do a mirror check from all angles! Bend over, sit down etc. Make sure it’s not too low/high cut, see-through.

    Take advantage of the elective classes that interest you, because you’ll either have to pay or not be eligble for them in college (I couldn’t take a painting class because it wasn’t my major).

    Yes, community involvement and extra curricular activities look good on the college/scholarship application, but so does good grades and longevity at one job. Don’t burn yourself out. Being “stuck at home” babysitting younger siblings can be an investment in your future adult/family relationships.

    Pay attention when mom tries to teach you how to cook your favorite family meals, or when dad wants to show you how to fix the car. It’ll save you time, frustration, and money in the future (and be better for your health).

    Don’t limit yourself to one group (“clique”) of friends, be willing to talk to/sit with anyone…especially those that seem lonely.

    Don’t post photos of your friends on facebook without their permission (or ones that you wouldn’t want them posting of you).

  136. Trish says

    Something I always told me three kids was : You can be friends with everyone BUT choose your Friday night friends very carefully.

  137. Amie says

    As a mother of two sons, I love this for young men as well. As a teacher of freshmen, I love it for all of “my kids”. Thank you for sharing. Please thank Allie for allowing God to use her.

  138. Madison says

    I’m 17 and getting ready to enter my senior year. I totally agree with all of these rules. I would like to add one tho. “Never forget you’re valuable, beautiful, and very VERY important. Ur worth/value is not determined by other people’s opinions.” I struggled with that the first couple years of high school. I’ve finally realized what other people say does not determine my worth.

  139. Marie Reinhart says

    You should be very proud of your freshman daughter. I can see she has strong morals and values which had to come from her upbringing. I can tell she values herself, and knows to be cautious and careful with who to entrust herself with. With a list like this, how can she not be a huge success in life!!

  140. Ray says

    Don’t let what others think about you be your reality.

    Pure pressure is a trap. Don’t fall into the trap

  141. Elle says

    1. Your parents will say no some times, it’s only because they love you
    2. Appreciate every hug, kiss, and smile.
    3. NEVER argue with the teacher. It turns out you will need their help eventually for either tutoring or friendship.
    4. Never be afraid to ask for help. If you are struggling with anything (a subject, bullying, depression, anxiety, breakup, etc.) please ask for help.
    5. Buy yourself some flowers. Treat yourself to things that make you happy. It’s okay to be nice to yourself.
    6. If a boy from your school messages you through social media to try to talk to you, don’t engage the conversion. Anyone worth dating/your time will be man enough to talk to you in person.
    7. ALWAYS listen to God’s voice. Talk to him daily.
    8. Take a lot of pictures, but don’t live through the screen of an electronic advice either.
    9. Start prepping for the ACT/SAT now. It seems like so far, but you will have to take it before you know it. Also, don’t forget to start touring colleges and make sure you can afford them.
    10. People say that high school is the highlight of your life. Well, for a very rare few. High school is going to feel like a roller coaster. Don’t forget, you have college and dorms to look forward too.
    11. Don’t be late to school. Don’t form bad habits to follow you throughout your life. Think about “what would happen in the real world if I did this?”
    12. As lame as this sounds, keep a journal. No matter how busy you are, you will appreciate having something to look back on those memories.

  142. Wendy Thompson says

    Our motto: A real friend stands up for you when you aren’t around. It also works in reverse.

    From my mom: If you can’t do it before midnight, you have no business doing it.

  143. Joyce Watson says

    Don’t take selfies with your tongue out. It looks gross. Just smile. It’s much more beautiful.

  144. Dick says

    Wish I had been smart enough to give this kind of advice. It is truly priceless!

    Thankfully all of our children grew up and are successful. Thank you lord!

  145. Pam Marshall says

    Your daughter is wise beyond her years. These rules apply to everyone – high school and beyond.

  146. Hollie says

    These are wonderful rules to live by, at that age they need all the guidance they’ll accept. My daughter lived by most of these rules. She is now starting her senior year of college and engaged to be married after graduation. Her fiance lived much by the same rules. They’ve known each other since 7th grade. (Thru youth group, they did not live in the same town so they went to different schools) they became friends, had crushes on each other, but didn’t start dating until the summer between her junior & senior year of high school. They both put God first in their lives, it is wonderful to see. Now, I also have 2 sons. They do well sometimes, one more so than the other, but I feel these rules are completely appropriate for boys also. Imagine the relationships teens would have, whether it be with their best friends or with the opposite sex. Put God first and live by simple rules, this country would be totally different…wonderfully blessed.

  147. Joseph Apodaca says

    This is very similar to a list of life rules I was introduced to by my Youth Pastor in Casper Wyoming over 20 years ago. I still use them as a divorced single dad 20 years later. I have changed the break up rule to include co-workers, friends, family and other people. But the basic rule under it all is be compassionate and empathetic to those around you. I hope to instill these into my beautiful 9 year old daughter. Oh and group dates, groups of 2 couples or more are always safer and 10 inches is close enough unless married, but I think that is more of my D.A.D.D. (Dads Against Daughters Dating) instincts.

  148. Veronica says

    We are here to bring glory to God, even in High School.

    To Add for Boys (since they aren’t quite as mature in High School)
    If it bothers someone, don’t do it.
    Repetitive is annoying.
    Be a gentleman with every girl and photos of girls-think about how you would treat a princess or your grandma.

  149. Dawn says

    Great advice. Very well said. I know it is directed to girls and I will be sharing with my daughters who are no longer in school but have small boys. I have 3 small grandsons. My husband and I are very involved in their child rearing as both of my girls are single moms. I believe my grandsons should also be accountable and held to alot of the same standards as girls. I try to instill these same values as I help teach and speak into their lives. Thank you for sharing Godly wisdom and a checklist for daily living. And as my mom always reminded me “you are special because God does not make junk.”

  150. Tiffin Bostic says

    I always told my daughter which will be turning 21 next month that I would rather her have no friends and her reputation than tons of friends and a horrible reputation….seems at my daughters high school the parents only worried if their daughter was popular and not what people thought of her

  151. Daniel B says

    “If you’re wondering if you should break up with him, break up with him.”

    I can think of several happily married friends I look up to who thankfully ignored this bit. In addition, can’t think of anyone who never once in their relationship ever thought about breaking up.

  152. Cyndy Turner says

    I have 3 wonderful young adult women who love the Lord. Two things I would add to her list. Group date at 15, Double date at 16, single at 17 for your own protection, even boys. Remember God makes all people, instead of calling them weird or strange, let them be unique in your eyes . Joy will probably follow that acceptance.

  153. Liesl Roos says

    Thank you so much for this article. Our daughter is almost 15 and will be going to school for the first times (grade 10) in 2017. She has been homeschooled all her life and is so pure and beautiful. I have been wondering for a while how to prepare her more for what lies ahead. She will be going to a small private school, but it is not Christian and there are many very broken pupils. I’m sharing this article with her and focussing on nr 18 specifically. Everybody has a story and we should not judge by the tiny part we see. Let us love and know Jesus love our daughters even more than we do and He will be with them every step of the way.

  154. Carissa says

    Don’t be afraid to do something new or something you love because someone might think you area nerd. Embrace things you love no matter what! Once you grow up you realize EVERYONE is an Awesome nerd! Even the person you think is the coolest is hiding a hidden passion for fear of being ridiculed. Be proud! Also STAND BY, SUPPORT, AND ENCOURAGE OTHER GIRLS!!!

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