I’ll never forget one summer night having dinner with a pastor and his wife. Andy and I were newly married and navigating the world of working with teenagers. I don’t doubt for one minute that this pastor’s wife loved Jesus and meant well, but something didn’t feel great about the vibe between the two of them. I remember her telling us that she always felt it was her role to keep her husband humble. What with all the people praising and complementing him all the time… He chuckled a little bit uncomfortably. She was pretty proud of her success.
In spite of my complete inexperience and floundering to figure out what being a ministry wife meant, that one thing failed to ring true for me. I decided to do the exact opposite. My goal became “be his greatest cheerleader.” I don’t always get it right, but that’s the bull’s-eye on the target. Even when busy with ministry and family and whatever else, my top priority apart from my personal relationship with Christ is Andy. There are lots of people affirming him and admiring him. Why would that EVER make me do it less?
So, for what it’s worth, here’s my advice. Never assume the role of keeping your husband humble. Don’t let anyone else “out cheer” you. I don’t mean loudly and publicly and obnoxiously. I simply mean in HIS heart and mind, you’re his greatest fan.
A few ideas to get you thinking… I’m so proud of you. I love what God is doing through you. I love life with you. I love parenting with you. I’d marry you again in a minute! Thank you for your sweet text, it made my day. That shirt looks really good on you. Have you been working out? Okay, okay, maybe I’m getting carried away, but you get the point.
I’m convinced that this approach is a win for your ministry, a win for your husband, and a win for YOU!
A note to the guys: Men, how would you like to hear this? “Honey, I wish everyone who hears you speak could know how well you live what you teach. You’re the real deal.” Hey, give her some stuff to compliment. Live up to what you teach. You potentially have the best cheerleader in the world right next to you.
I'd like to introduce you to Amy. I met Amy around the same time I met Andy. She was a fun-loving, full-of-energy teenager who always had a giant bow in her hair. She headed to Auburn and became an elementary school teacher. I'm pretty sure parents fought over having their kids in her classes! Amy... Read More
One of the things I appreciate about our church culture is that when something is working, we love to share it. We know we don’t have all of the answers, but we’re encouraged to share what we do know in order to help others go further faster. If you’re here, you must be curious about... Read More
Breathing Room is finally on bookshelves. But it was supposed to be there 12 months ago. To explain why it wasn’t, I have to back up a decade. When my oldest son, Andrew, entered high school, it dawned on me that I was in the latter half of my full-time, hands-on mom season. My... Read More
Sandra is a Georgia native and has lived in the Atlanta area since graduating from Georgia Tech in 1988. She married Andy that same year and they founded North Point Ministries in 1995. Sandra’s ministry passion is promoting foster care in the local church. Much of her time these days is spent in seminary classes through Dallas Theological Seminary, working on various writing projects, and continuing her involvement with Fostering Together – the foster care initiative at North Point Ministries.
Learn more about Sandra
“For by grace you are saved through faith, and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God” (Eph. 2:8).